


Bad Acting

by MsJoann



Series: Expectations and Explanations [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng Fluff, Alya Césaire Is The Best, Alya Césaire Knows, Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng Fluff, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Nino Lahiffe Is So Done, Post-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Romance, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:49:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsJoann/pseuds/MsJoann
Summary: They tried. They really did try. Marinette came up with a plan. To protect their identities, she and Adrien would pretend that things were normal. That way, they could gradually reveal their relationship. It was foolproof! Unfortunately, our precious pair underestimated their own foolishness… and the wit of a certain journalist.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Series: Expectations and Explanations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676815
Comments: 26
Kudos: 175





	1. I will always hate you

**Author's Note:**

> One of my favorite parts of Adrinette fan fictions are the reveal.
> 
> Not the identity reveal, but the reveal of their relationship to their friends. 
> 
> I’ll be writing several stories, varying in length, that focus on (and have lots of fun with) this event. (Don’t worry, there will still be lots of our adorable couple’s romance!)
> 
> Here’s the first, enjoy!

“I hate you.”

Marinette paused in a moment of insecurity, but looking at Chat Noir’s smug expression told her more than his words. She smiled. “No you don’t,” she said.

“No, no, look at my face,” Chat said, forcing a grimace. “I hate you with a fiery passion.” Marinette stifled a giggle. “You’re disgusting.” Marinette let herself laugh. “You’re a cold, heartless witch. I’m pretty sure Chloe’s your long lost twin sister.” Marinette fell into his lap, only laughing harder. “Your face makes me sick. I’m serious. I can’t stand looking at you and your stupid pigtails.” 

“Stop-” Marinette wheezed between laughs. “I- can’t- breathe-”

“Good riddance,” he responded, causing her to burst into another fit of laughter. Chat smiled. His adoration, though contradictory to his adamant statements, was written all over his face. At that point Marinette’s head was resting comfortably in his lap. Chat breathed and held onto the moment, savoring the sound of Marinette’s bubbly laughter. He couldn’t help but be disappointed when it started to die down as she regained control of herself. Cautiously he lifted a claw and brushed a piece of raven hair from her face. Marinette froze, heat rushing to her cheeks. She sat up. 

“I-I know you don’t hate me, _chaton_ ,” She said softly, cheeks still tinged pink. Being close to Chat Noir was never a problem for her but now all of her feelings were confused.

“Then why did you ask how I felt about you?” He asked. He propped his head up on his elbows like a curious, eager child. In many ways this description fit him perfectly.

“I mean-” Marinette started. “Well, I- what I was trying to say was- you know about me being… um- I-” She struggled to get the words out. Chat only continued to gaze at her with patience and affection. She looked at him. “That face- all your feelings are just there. But I don’t know if- if- you’re seeing Marinette or Ladybug.”

“Buginette, Marinette _is_ Ladybug,” Chat said. Marinette winced. She still wasn’t used to him knowing that. He’d only just figured it out. “I can’t lie, it doesn’t matter to me who Ladybug is. It changes nothing. If you were Chloe I’d still feel the same about you... wait no I take that back.” Marinette snickered. “The point is with any other person behind the mask, I’d still see Ladybug.” Marinette sighed, but Chat took her hand. “It’s different with you. Probably because you actually are Ladybug. But in a weird way you blend together. I swear to you Mari, I just see _you_.” Marinette smiled. They said nothing for a moment. “And you’re absolutely revolting.”

Marinette squeaked, grabbing the nearest object, a pillow thankfully, to hit him. “Owww! Mariiiii,” he whined. Marinette took on a signature Chat Noir smirk, holding the pillow up in preparation for another attack.

“Have mercy,” he begged.

“Nope!” Marinette said. “I’m a cold, heartless witch!” Chat shrieked pathetically as the small girl assaulted him with pillows. As she was bombarding him, she failed to notice the mischievous glint in his eyes. Chat scooped Marinette into his arms with grace and speed. He promptly threw her over his shoulder. She squealed and kicked as hard as she could but he held on tight to her. “N-No fair!” She exclaimed, flushed by the close contact. “You’re transformed! You cheater!”

“Do you want me to detransform?” He asked. Marinette stopped flailing. It would be the first time she saw Adrien since she found out who he was. Her awkwardness was already seeping into her interactions with Chat Noir. She wasn’t sure how her mind and heart would react to Adrien.

“Wait- th-there’s one thing I need to say while I still have my head,” Marinette said. Chat set her down. Her hands slid down his chest as he did so. She kept them rested below his bell. As she looked up into his green eyes, she couldn’t help but feel like a fool. How could she not realize he was Adrien? Who else could have such gorgeous emerald eyes? Sure, they changed to resemble a cat’s, but the green…

“I know I’m hot m’lady,” Chat said with a grin. “But purrhaps you’d like to say whatever it is you need to say?”

“Uhh-agh,” Marinette said. “Right- I… Chat- Adrien, I- I-“ _Come on Marinette_ , she told herself. _This is your partner. Your friend. Your goofy, pun obsessed, flirty Chat Noir. You can talk to Chat Noir._

“Marinette?” He said, voice softer and less teasing. He sounded so much like Adrien. Marinette sputtered.

 _Sweet, generous, handsome Chat Noir… I truly am a fool._ Marinette’s mind scrambled. “I-err-uh-” Marinette dashed around the room. “First day! It was- grrrr, gum! B-but when you- cause the- umbrella!” Marinette held up the black umbrella that Adrien had given her that day she fell for him. “Pop! E-embarrassed, can’t talk- n-not o-obsessed!” Marinette struggled to close it and put it away. “I swear! And I-I tried to- but you- well, you know- but n-now! Chat Noir! My partner! M-my hero! And you- the candles! S-so sweet- cause, my kitty! But I- I h-had- well other boy. Except you! A-Adrien. S-see!” Marinette gestured, grinning widely, to her shrine of Adrien pictures with the half closed umbrella. Chat blinked once. Twice.

“Um-“ Chat said, still trying to process her mass jumble of words. Marinette’s grin fell.

“Look!” She said desperately, pulling on a string dangly from the ceiling, which released a large poster.

“My schedule?” He asked. “I don’t-” Marinette sighed, and before she could second guess herself, she interrupted him with a kiss. Chat’s eyes widened in shock, but fluttered closed. He wrapped his arms around her waist. Marinette let herself melt into his embrace. She instantly knew that this was right.

 _Purrfect_ , she thought. They broke apart. There was a flash of green light and Adrien stood before her. “I love you,” she whispered. Adrien placed a hand on her cheek She leaned into it happily. This _must_ be a dream.

“Marinette,” he said tenderly. His blonde hair shined in the light. “I will always, always hate you.”

“Agh!” Marinette shouted as he broke the trance. She slapped his shoulder. “No!” She said firmly. “I want to hear it!” Adrien feigned ignorance.

“Hear what?” He asked innocently.

“You know. I want to hear it,” she said, taking on her Ladybug determination and confidence. Adrien smiled. Despite the act, her heart skipped a beat. He gave in.

“I love you too.”

Marinette grinned. “Of course you do Kitty. For a model, you’re a horrible actor.” Adrien raised an eyebrow. He leaned in for another kiss. Marinette felt her legs turn to mush. Adrien held her steady, appreciating the sweetness of her touch. A moment passed and Adrien pulled back. Marinette sighed blissfully.

“Hypocrite,” he said. Marinette giggled.

“How are we going to tell Alya?” Adrien stepped back.

“Oh no,” he said. “We are-”

“Dead,” she finished. Adrien took her hand.

“Come on,” he said. “We can do this. We’re superheroes!”

“She’s a journalist,” she said, fear in her voice. Adrien kissed her head.

“At least we’ll die together.”


	2. Mother Goose

The alarm sounded loud and obnoxious that morning. It almost sounded like Plagg’s voice. The volume, the urge it gave him to throttle it, the scratchiness, the way it repeatedly chanted ‘cheese’- wait, what? Adrien sat up suddenly. Plagg was nowhere to be seen. He glanced at his alarm clock. It was indeed sounding Plagg’s voice. He took great satisfaction in ripping it from the wall. “Plaaaaaaaaaaaaagg!” he shouted. 

“Yes?” the small creature asked, floating to the foot of his bed.

“Did you change my alarm clock?” he asked, holding it up by its cord.

“Yes,” Plagg replied simply. 

“Why did you do that?” Adrien asked sharply.

“It’s April 1st!” Plagg said. “Isn’t it a human tradition to mess with each other today?”

“In America!” Adrien said. “In France, we just put sticky notes with fish onto people!” Plagg shrugged. 

“I went international,” Plagg said. “You’ll find the French version in your shoes. But it’s not a sticky note.”

“Plagg!!” Adrien exclaimed. He jumped to grab Plagg, but he flew out of his grasp, laughing maniacally. Adrien sighed, and flipped over onto his back, his feet now laying on his pillows. Despite the dreadful feeling that there were real fish in his shoes, he couldn’t help but smile. _Marinette._ It was all he could think about. The adorable way she scrambled around the room, the way her blue eyes sparkled with confidence and timidness at the same time, the soft feeling of her lips on his. He raised his hand to his mouth. Plagg floated down to Adrien. He instantly noticed the dreamy look on his face and ran for it, but it was too late.

“She kissed me, Plagg!” he said excitedly, jumping to his feet. “ _She_ kissed _me_!”

“Yeah yeah,” Plagg grumbled.

“She loves me,” Adrien said in almost a whisper. He laid back down. His smile widened. He sat up.

“Will you just stay in one place?” Plagg said.

“I have to see her,” he said, his tone turned serious.

“What!? You saw her yester-”

“Plagg! Claws-” There was a knock at the door.

“Adrien, your photoshoot is in 10 minutes,” Nathalie’s voice said from the other side. Plagg sighed in relief. Adrien groaned, flopping back down onto his bed.

* * *

“Marinette?” She smiled dopily. “Marineeeette?” She sighed. “MARI!” Marinette jumped up, higher than should be physically possible, arms wavy madly in the air. “My goodness, girl,” Alya said. “What’s got your head in the clouds?” Marinette blushed. 

“O-Oh, you know,” Marinette said. “Adrien.” It was far from a lie. Since the night before, he’d been on her mind constantly. Alya chuckled.

“Of course,” she said. She paused. “Didn’t he mention having a photoshoot here today?” Marinette turned a deeper red. He did. She may or may not have suggested going to the park for that reason.

_I’m not a stalker,_ she told herself. _He’s my boyfriend. It’s perfectly normal to visit your boyfriend… wait, is he my boyfriend?_ Marinette’s eyes widened. _Did I not ask him to be my boyfriend!?_ Alya laughed, thinking Marinette had forgotten about the shoot. Marinette looked up and did her best to put on a sheepish smile. _I’m sure we’re in a relationship. We kissed. That’s how that works… right?_ Marinette looked around nervously. As she was turning back to face Alya, she got a glimpse of an unmistakable head of blonde hair and quickly forgot her troubles. She sighed again and rested her face on the palm of her hand to watch Adrien as he got ready for his photoshoot. She almost didn’t notice Alya face palming.

* * *

“Beautiful! You’re at the beach! It is sunny, the sand is warm!” Adrien listened to the rambling of the eccentric photographer. He briefly wondered why all his photographers feel the need to narrate in such detail. “You see a girl! She’s beautiful! You see her eyes, her hair! You kiss her hand. It’s salty from the sea water, so you lick her hand! Oh my! She _is_ sea water! You lick her all up!” Adrien was hit with an image of licking Marinette ‘all up.’ His face morphed to a mix of fear and concern. “No, no! It’s not gross, it’s refreshing! You love your sea girl!” Adrien shook his head and decided to ignore the photographer's story.

* * *

Marinette had started to approach Adrien when she heard a loud, rather dramatic scream. She whipped around, but immediately recoiled in disgust. There was a sort of person, well not really a person. It more resembled a humanoid dog- or maybe a wolf? It was covered head to toe in thick platinum blonde hair and had a long snout. Marinette thought it was an Akuma, but instead of attacking, it seemed to be violently sobbing. Marinette looked closer.

“Chloe!?” Alya exclaimed. She pulled out her phone. Immediately Marinette began running to find a place to transform. “Marinette! Where are you going!?”

“Home! My parents!” Marinette hastily shouted what was meant to be an excuse. “I have to check on them!” Alya seemed to accept this and stayed to photograph Chloe, who was angrily swatting the journalist away. Marinette ducked behind a tree.

“Tikki, spots on!” Ladybug ran back into the park to assess the scene. By this time, there were dozens of wolf people, most of whom were screaming or crying. Chloe was doing both. Ladybug looked around for the Akuma, but no one stood out. She heard a pair of feet land behind her. She quickly whipped out her yo yo, hitting her feline partner in the head.

“Ow!” Chat said, rubbing the spot by his temple that she hit. “Is this because of all my jokes? Am I finally being _pun_ ished?” Ladybug giggled. Chat’s eyes lit up. “Did you laugh at one of my puns?” Ladybug glared.

“No,” she said very seriously. “I laughed because you looked so funny being hit in the head.”

“Thanks for that by the way,” Chat said. “I’ll probably get a bruise now.”

“Oh stop being such a drama kitty,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I didn’t mean to hit you. I thought you were the Akuma.”

“A cat controlling dogs?” He questioned. “Sounds like a _ruff_ verasal of roles.”

“I don’t think the Akuma is controlling the wolf people. They all seem pretty shocked and scared,” she said, gesturing to Chloe, who still insisted on continuing her fit. Chat shook his head.

“Nnyahahahahaaa,” cackled a cynical voice. The duo turned around, looking left and right for the source of the laughter. “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall!” The voice chanted.

“Look!” Chat shouted. Ladybug followed his gaze just in time to see a frightened man atop a building slowly transform into a large egg with limbs. “Not what I was _egg_ xpecting, but _yoke_ ay.” Ladybug sighed for the millionth time that day, but it was much less dreamy than the others.

“Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!” Ladybug’s eyes widened. She dashed forward, using her yo yo to swing up the building. The egg man tumbled off. Ladybug caught him around… well it would have been his waist. Ladybug hadn’t made it all the way up and was now hanging off the side of the building. The man’s egg shape and the smoothness of his shell made him difficult to hold onto. She feared she couldn’t make it down without losing him. She tried to hoist him up for a better grip, but this only quickened his descent.

“He’s slipping!” Ladybug shouted in panic. “Chat!” Chat had already vaulted to her side. He grabbed the man under his arms. Together, they lowered him to the ground.

“Oh wow,” Chat said when they landed. He shook out his arms. “More like Humpty Plump-ty.”

“Chat!” Ladybug said in exasperation ( _egg_ sasperation). “Don’t be rude!” Chat smirked in response. The egg man looked down at himself. He began to breathe incredibly hard. He held his ‘chest’ with two hands. Ladybug’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. She placed a hand on the egg man’s back. “Monsieur?” she said. “Are you ok?”

“Is he having a pan _egg_ attack?” Chat asked. This made the man chuckle. Ladybug let out a breath and smiled in relief. She looked up at Chat.

“He’s going to be-”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” The egg man screamed, running in the other direction with his hands flying in the air. Ladybug gasped and fell on her butt. Chat offered a hand.

“I… think he’s a little _shell_ shocked.” Chat said as he helped her up.

“Can you imagine?” Ladybug said. “At least with Reflekta, they were still people. We better find this Akuma.”

“You ruined my rhyme!” The two heroes turned to face the speaker.

“Oh,” Ladybug said. “There she is.”

“I’ll ruin YOU this time!” The Akuma was a short woman with pale green eyes and long brown hair that flowed over her shoulder in a braid. She wore a classic grey English bonnet and librarian style glasses. Her dress was a matching grey gown with a white apron. Despite her outfit, she was not an old lady, being at most in her late 40s.

“What is this? A reverse midlife crisis?” Chat joked. The Akuma ignored him.

“I’m Mother Goose, you see!” She shouted. “Everyone will be a character, chosen by me!” Mother Goose looked the pair up and down. “So you can break your skull, perhaps Jack and Jill! Or maybe Hansel and Gretel, but the witch gets her kill!” Chat pulled out his staff.

“Why do we have to be siblings?” Chat asked. He raised his staff above his head and attacked Mother Goose. Ladybug gagged at the thought, but joined the fight. Mother Goose pulled out a storybook. Before she could be hit, she moved her finger across the page as if she was reading it, and one of the wolf people jumped in front of her. The wolf person used a clawed hand to smack the staff to the side. Upon examination, Chat realized that Mother Goose has chosen a rather large, muscular man to defend her.

“Her book!” Ladybug said. “That must be where the Akuma is!” Chat looked between the wolf man and his staff, which had been flung behind the man. Without hesitation, Chat leap frogged over him, grabbed the staff while his feet were still in the air, and landed gracefully with one hand on the ground. Chat tried to use the advantage position to run up behind Mother Goose, but the wolf man grabbed him by the neck. “Chat!” Ladybug threw her yo yo, wrapping it around the wolf man and pulled as hard as she could. He didn’t budge. Chat made a choking sound. She felt sick as she watched Chat’s legs kicking above the ground. The wolf man may as well have reached into her gut and ripped out her stomach. Mother Goose cackled. Ladybug made a grab for the book, but the wolf man threw her to the side with his other hand.

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug called in desperation. “A fan!?” She felt more hopeless than ever but looked around for an answer. She saw Chat’s eyes start to flutter shut. She gasped and continued her search for a plan. Her eyes caught onto a bunch of flowers by the entrance to the park. Hastily she grabbed them and turned on the fan, spreading pollen into Mother Goose and the wolf man’s face. Both scrunched their faces for a moment before sneezing hard. Chat and the storybook fell to the ground. Chat took a big breath. “Quick Chat!” Ladybug said. “The storybook!” 

“Cataclysm!” He yelled and disintegrated the book. A purple butterfly flew out. Ladybug purified it. She threw the fan into the air.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” A swarm of ladybugs flew through the area, returning the egg man and the wolf people back to normal. Mother Goose, now a normal middle aged woman, sat up in confusion.

Chat raised his first. “Pound-” Ladybug cut him off, kissing him hard. Chat leaned in almost giddily. He enjoyed remembering her soft, sweet lips, though she kissed him with a lot more desperation this time. When they separated, Chat smiled widely.

“You really scared me,” Ladybug said.

“Aw, come on,” Chat said. “You know I could never leave y- hey, are you crying? Was it really that bad?”

“I’ve seen you do a lot of stupid stuff Chat Noir,” Ladybug said. Chat chuckled. “But I’ve never seen you that close to really dying. I think the only time that compares was during the Timebreaker incident…” She trailed off. Chat smirked. All he remembered from that day was the two Ladybugs. Chat wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Let’s go,” he said. They started forward. That’s when they noticed the journalist with her phone out, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. “How much of that did you-”

“For my LadyBlog, of course, give us the scoop,” Alya said. “Are you two dating?” Chat looked at Ladybug as if to ask, _Are we?_ Ladybug looked between Chat and Alya.

Ladybug’s cheeks matched her outfit when she replied, “... Yes.” Alya squealed, but quickly forced herself to stay professional.

She turned the camera on herself to say, “Well, you heard it here first! Ladybug and Chat Noir are officially a couple!” Alya ran off, most likely to also tell everyone she knew in person, as if they wouldn’t have already seen it on her blog.

“You _are_ my boyfriend, right?” Ladybug asked, looking a little too scared. Chat burst into laughter.

”Nope, just a long term booty call,” he replied. Ladybug glared.

”Not gonna happen,” Ladybug said, poking him playfully in the chest. The two turned to watch Alya running _very_ excitedly off to who knows where. “You do know this means we can’t reveal our relationship in our civilian identities, right?” Ladybug said.

“What- why?” Chat asked. Chat’s ring beeped but he still had 3 pads left, so he dismissed it.

“Think about it,” Ladybug explained. “Two people who look exactly like us, and were far from becoming a couple beforehand, suddenly start dating at exactly the same time as we do.”

“Ok, I’ll admit that’s a little suspicious,” Chat replied. “But we can’t hide it forever.”

“We don’t have to- just a little while, until we’re beyond suspicion,” Ladybug said.

“So, how long?” Chat asked. Ladybug thought for a moment. “How about a month?” Chat dropped his staff.

“A _month_?” 

“Then you can ask me out, and we can be together in public,” Ladybug said. “And they’d be none the wiser.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suuuuuuuuure, Marinette. 
> 
> The Akuma attack turned out longer than I planned. I think I may have had a little too much fun with the egg puns. 
> 
> As for the fish thing, I don’t know why I decided this chapter would take place on April Fools day, it just sorta happened and it doesn’t affect the rest of the chapter but it’s not like anyone would get akumatized over fish drawings anyways. Yes, this is an actual French tradition. I can’t say I remember a lot about where it came from and how actual French people celebrate it, but it’s a thing. (You should definitely try it this April Fools Day, it’s a blast to just put fish on everyone and everything.)


	3. Blushing and Stammering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve been trying to think of funny predicaments to put these characters in that aren’t super cliche, which is harder than you might realize. I’m doing my best not to make this too cheesy.
> 
> I make no promises.

“Marinette, you need to get up.”

“Noooooo, just a little longer.”

“Marinette, you’re going to be late.”

“No, I set my alarm early, I have time.”

“Marinette, you slept through that alarm.”

“No, no, I couldn’t have.”

“Marinette, school starts in 5 minutes.”

“...”

“Marinette?”

Marinette jumped from her bed with a crazed look in her eyes. This matched wonderfully with her massive, frizzy bed head. She grabbed her phone and promptly shrieked like a banshee. “Tikki!” she cried out. “Why didn’t you tell me!?” Tikki put her hands on her little hips, donning a deadpan look on her face. Marinette didn't notice. She snatched her brush and tried to fix the mess on her head. She yanked and pulled, but the knots didn't budge. Marinetts resigned to wear a beret to cover the spectacle. She darted down the stairs.

“Marinette, wait!” Tikki exclaimed. Marinette ignored her kwami’s calls. She grabbed a pastry to eat on the way.

“Marinette?” Sabine said.

“No time, Maman,” Marinette said and shoved the pastry into her mouth. “I haf oo ge oo smool!” Sabine laughed at her daughter’s well-known punctuality.

“Marinette!” Tikki hissed.

“Shh, Tikki!” Marinette said, shushing her. Marinette ran outside, one leg flying in the air as she made a sharp turn to the left.

“Marinette, your homework!” Tikki squeaked. Marinette let out what sounded to be a cross between a scream and a groan. Tikki giggled.

By some miracle (aka Ladybug), Marinette arrived at school just in time. She ran into class at comical speed just as the bell rang. Marinette let out a huge sigh of relief. Her class laughed, used to her typical late appearances.

“Marinette,” Ms. Bustier said sweetly. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

“O-oh, right,” Marinette said. She passed Adrien on her way. He gave her a knowing grin. Marinette smiled softly back. Alya wasn't oblivious to the exchanged looks. She cocked an eyebrow at Marinette, who just looked confused in return.

“Ok class,” Ms. Bustier said. “Today we’ll be starting our heroes project. You and your group will choose a hero of Paris to research and make a presentation. All members must talk and you must have a visual reference. You can make a PowerPoint, a poster, a diorama, or an art piece, but it must represent your hero. You must include all the Akuma attacks the hero fought in as well as 5 interesting facts.” Ms. Bustier began handing out sheets of paper. “All of the information is here. All groups must choose a different hero, so first come, first serve, but you have to have a group before you choose. Get into groups of four.” Instantly Alya grabbed Marinette. She tapped Nino’s shoulder.

“You, me, Marinette, and Adrien,” Alya suggested, though it sounded more like a demand.

“Sure,” Nino said and turned to Adrien. “Cool with you, bro?” Adrien smiled and nodded.

“Aaaaadrikins!” called a familiar voice. “You’re going to join our group right?” Chloe attempted a sweet smile, which of course only looked malicious.

“Uhh,” Adrien stuttered and looked back at Nino. “Not this time Chloe.” Chloe snarled, but oddly didn’t push it. Despite the whole Miracle Queen debacle, Chloe hadn’t been as nasty to her classmates as she has been at the beginning of the year. The same, however, can not be said for the sly Italian who was no longer on her famous country of the week trip (which somehow always includes one of the many celebrities that she was close friends with.)

“Oh, Adrien,” Lila said as she slid onto his bench, nearly shoving Nino off. “Will you please work with me? I haven't been doing well in school since I missed so much during my charity work in Dubai.”

“When did you go to Dubai, Lila?” Marinette interjected. “Didn’t you say that you were i-”

“I was there during the beginning of March,” Lila snapped. “I was so busy that I never had time to skype call the class. All those poor people, I spent over 14 hours a day building houses.”

“In Dubai,” Marinette clarified.

“Yes. Anyways, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” Lila said and shot a glare at Marinette. “I could use someone as smart as you, plus I think we just work better together. We’re a great pair, you and me.” Lila slid her hand onto Adrien’s. There was a snapping sound. Marinette’s pencil fell to her desk in two pieces. Adrien’s eyes darted nervously behind him.

“Agh- uh, ” Adrien blurted, yanking his hand away. “Lila it’s a group project, not a partnership. And I already have a group. Maybe next time.” Lila narrowed her eyes and stood up solemnly.

“Fine, I guess I’ll just fail the class,” Lila said sadly in an attempt to gain pity. Adrien said nothing. Lila sauntered off with an obviously overdramatic sway to her hips. It garnered no attention from Adrien.

“Dude you got all the interest from the ladies today!” Nino said, elbowing him suggestively. Alya smacked the back of his head with her notebook. “Ow, babe!”

“There are only two ladies I need interested in me today,” Adrien said with a wink. Both girls scoffed. Alya was clearly confused by Marinette’s similar reaction. She looked her up and down, likely expecting a blush from the noirette that wasn’t there. She dismissed it.

“That’s enough from you two,” Alya said. “Who should we research for the project?”

“Ladybug,” Adrien said almost immediately. Marinette turned to him. _Research myself?_ she thought. _No thanks._

“I think we should do Chat Noir,” Marinette countered. Alya whirled back around, jaw-dropping at Marinette’s confident tone.

“What? No,” Adrien said. “Ladybug.”

“Chat Noir.”

“ _Ladybug._ ”

“ _Chat Noir._ ”

“Come on, we both know Ladybug’s way cooler than Chat Noir,” Adrien said.

“How dare you!” Marinette shouted, slamming her hand on the table. “Chat Noir is _meow_ velous!” There was silence. It seemed Marinette was a little too loud as the entire class was staring at her in shock. Marinette looked around, eyes wide in embarrassment. She hastily pulled her hand from the table and held it to her chest. Her eyes fell onto Adrien. His green eyes twinkled as he gazed at her. His mouth hung partially open. He looked… mesmerized. Slowly his mouth expanded into a dopey grin. “Err-”

“But Ladybug’s just _spot_ acular,” Adrien said. Laughter spread through the classroom. After a brief period, they all returned to their groups.

“We choose Ladybug!” shouted a small voice. An excited looking Rose had jumped from her seat to call out their decision. She winked at Marinette.

“Which means we’ll do Chat Noir,” Marinette said triumphantly.

“Sounds good!” Alya said. “I’ve been meaning to get an interview with him for my LadyBlog, and this would be a good opportunity since we can incorporate it into our presentation too.”

“Yeah, " Nino said. “He’s pretty cool.”

Adrien simply hit his head on his desk.

“Chat Noir it is!” Marinette announced. “We call Chat Noir!” As Nino began patting Adrien on the back in comfort, Alya scooched closer to Marinette.

“You didn't stutter talking to Adrien!” Alya pointed out. Marinette squeaked. She had completely forgotten. _I have to do better,_ she thought. _I can’t just go around yelling ‘_ meow _velous’ like a Chat Noir fan girl._

“Oh, ” Marinette responded. “I guess I didn’t.” She heard a heavy sigh. Adrien looked back up at the two girls.

“So, should we meet up somewhere to work on the project?” he asked. He eyed the clock. “We don't have much time in class today.”

“Oh, yeah!” Marinette said. “You guys can come over to my house today after school and we can get started.” She figured she couldn't suddenly start stuttering as soon as Alya noted she wasn't- that would be almost as suspicious as her unexpected confidence. She’d have to find the right time to revert back to her ordinary self. Just then, Adrien gave the perfect opportunity.

“I’ll talk to Nathalie, but my schedule is free this afternoon and it’s for school so it should be fine, ” Adrien said, knowing he was the one with the difficult schedule and equally difficult father. He risked a peek at Marinette. “I like your beret, Marinette. It suits you.” He couldn't help himself, though he was cautious not to go over the top. Marinette didn't have to fake the blush when she noticed his eyes on her lips. She added wide eyes and an agape mouth for effect. Adrian merely hummed and turned away. Both of them realized at that moment that Adrien was an absolute idiot to have never noticed Marinette’s clear-as-day feelings for him.

“Th-thanks A-Adrien,” Marinette stammered. “I like your hat too- I mean, you’re not wearing a hat, but if you did I’m sure you would look great-no I mean, it would look great. Not that you wouldn't look great, you always-”

“Ok, he gets the idea,” Alya said, shaking her head. Adrien chuckled. He smirked and raised his eyebrows. _Not bad._ Marinette seemed to understand as she was beaming back at him.

“Mar-” Alya started, only to be cut off by the bell.

“So meet in the courtyard after school and we can walk to my place?” Marinette suggested. The others nodded in agreement. As Marinette was packing up her things, she noticed Ms. Bustier doing the same.

“Where are you going, Ms. Bustier?” she asked.

“I have a meeting with some of the other teachers next period. I don’t have another class until 4th period, so just close the door when you leave,” Ms. Bustier said, swinging her bag over her shoulder. “It should lock automatically.” Ms. Bustier waved goodbye and headed for her meeting. By that time, she, Alya, Nino, and Adrien were the only ones left in the room.

“You coming?” Alya asked, taking a step towards the door.

“Uh, yeah,” Marinette said. Her eyes darted to Adrien. “You go ahead, I still have a bunch of my things out. And you know me, so slow and clumsy. I wouldn’t want to keep you from class.” Alya furrowed her eyebrows.

“Ok then,” she said. “See you next period, try not to be late this time.” She continued out with a glance at Nino, as if beckoning him to follow. Marinette found it oddly adorable the way Nino automatically heeded his girlfriend’s call.

“Adrien?” he said.

“Er- I’ll come soon,” Adrien replied. “I forgot to tell Ms. Bustier about an absence I’m going to have, so I’ll have to leave a note.” Nino nodded and the couple strolled off. Adrien grabbed a pen and sticky note. Mariner's ever so slowly continued packing up. They watched the window from the corner of their eyes until Alya and Nino were gone from view. Adrien and Marinette dropped what they were holding, breaking the facade.

“That was some im _purr_ essive acting,” Adrien said, walking over to Marinette. “I think we really got this.”

“Oh don't start that now,” Marinette said and flicked his nose. He smiled. “And we can’t get cocky, we haven’t even finished day one.”

“I think it’s a good start,” he said and leaned closer to her.

“You weren’t exactly so subtle- Oh Marinette, I just _love_ your hat, you’re _so_ pretty, I just want to kiss you now!” Marinette said mockingly. Adrien flushed pink.

“I didn’t say that!” Adrien sputtered. Marinette’s smile only widened. She fluttered her eyelashes.

“So you _weren’t_ thinking about kissing me?” Marinette asked. Adrien turned redder. He cupped her face with one hand and swooped down so their noses touched. Marinette’s sultry gaze and slightly parted lips didn't help his blush.

“Princess, I’m always thinking about kissing you.” He closed the gap between them.

* * *

As soon as they had passed the classroom, Alya pulled Nino to the side. “There’s something going on with Marinette and Adrien,” she said.

“Huh?” Nino questioned. “What do you mean?”

“Don't tell me you didn’t notice!” Alya said, arms flying in the air. Nino gave her a blank stare. She huffed.

“Well, first of all, they kept giving each other these weird looks, like they knew something we didn't- like an inside joke or something, but that couldn't be it cause it was with practically everything they said!” Alya shouted.

“I don’t thi-”

“Second of all, Marinette didn't stutter at all when talking to Adrien. She was completely confident- heck, she argued with him!” Alya thrust her hands in front of her for effect.

“I don’t see how-”

“You don't understand, Nino!” Alya exclaimed. “Marinette has Adrien on a _pedestal_. Normally she would _never_ argue with him! His word may as well be her religion. And not only did she actually yell at him, but she did it with _perfect composure_!”

“She didn't seem so perfectly composed to me,” Nino said. “She babbled whe-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Alya said. “But that was after I noticed that she wasn’t stuttering.”

“Alya, do you think you could be over-”

“I’m telling you, something is up!” Alya insisted. “And I’m getting to the bottom of it!” Nino sighed. He had seen enough of Alya’s antics to know that she wouldn’t give this up.

“Fine, just please don’t drag me int-”

“And you’re helping me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, poor Nino. Involuntarily dragged into everything as always. 
> 
> Just a random lesson I learned this chapter: don’t use the grammarly keyboard on a work that’s filled with puns. It very firmly wants you to spell correctly. You have no idea how many times I had to type “meowvelous” only for it to be reverted to the normal spelling.


	4. Let out your ~felines~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love puns. Should I add more puns? I feel like this needs more puns.

The rest of the day went by without disaster- nothing too big anyways. Admittedly, Adrien’s habitual use of endearing nicknames for his Lady Luck was hard to break, so there were several “Buga- errrr”s and “my l- ma- Marinette”s. Adrien was surprised at how well Marinette regained her bumbling and stuttering. This did help her cover her own slip ups, notably when she almost called him “kitty” in front of the entire chemistry class. Perhaps she shouldn’t have changed it to “kit- kissable” though this did allow for some very Marinette-like blushing and backtracking.

Nonetheless, Adrien was relieved when the school day ended. Well, that is until-

“Luka? What are you doing here?”

Adrien’s head snapped up. He may be completely and utterly oblivious to girls’ feelings, but he knew a fellow with a crush when he saw it. As he examined the blue-haired guitarist chatting it up with _his_ girlfriend, he saw it. And oh boy, did it make his blood _boil_.

* * *

Marinette blinked, dumb founded. “... come again?”

“Do you want to come to the movies with me some time?” Luka asked. So she didn’t mishear him. Just when she thought she was in the clear, at least for the day. Honestly, his timing couldn’t be any worse. How was she going to get out of this one? Luka shifted uncomfortably at her silence.

“Err- well I don’t think-” Marinette tried. “I mean, I really don’t- what I mean is- eeeee!” Her squeal came when Alya yanked her to the side.

“Girl, are you crazy!?” Alya whisper-shouted.

“Wha-”

“A super cute guy just asked you out!” She said. “And you’re about to turn him down!?”

“Well, Alya, I don’t really-” Marinette stammered.

“Oh come on, is this about Adrien?” Alya asked, sighing. Silence. Marinette fumbled for an answer. Alas, nothing came. Alya huffed. “Think about this Mari. You have nothing to lose. Who knows? Maybe you’ll have a great time and forget all about Adrien.” Unlikely. Marinette doubted she’d ever forget kissing Adrien in a black, skin-tight bodysuit. “And if you don’t- and I don’t mean you should just Luka for this- but at the very least you just might make that poor, innocent, sunshine child jealous.” That’s what Marinette was worried about. Only her sunshine child had claws. Of course, she couldn’t _say_ this.

“I just don’t want to go, ok?” Marinette said finally. Alya’s mouth pursed into a fine line, but she didn’t argue. Marinette sighed and returned to Luka. “Sorry- I can’t,” she said, a sympathetic look in her eyes.

“Oh.” Luka sounded so dejected, it made her want to hug him right then and there. She didn’t though. Luka’s physical health took precedence over his emotional health. Not that she thought Adrien would ever _really_ hurt Luka over a hug, but even a scare would reveal them instantly. “That’s fine, Marinette,” he said, spinning around quickly on his heels.

“Wait, Luka-” But he was already gone. Marinette bit her bottom lip in concern.

“What was that about?” Adrien was by her side. When did he get there? Marinette shook her head.

“O-oh… nothing,” Marinette said, her tone tainted with sadness. She brightened a bit when she glanced at her boyfriend. It was then that she noticed Nino had also appeared. “Ready to go?” she asked. The two boys nodded and followed her.

* * *

“If I hear one more cat pun I swear I will sew you all to the chaise,” Marinette said, groaning at a _purr_ ticularly _paw_ ful pun from the feline superhero.

“Come one Mari,” Nino said. “You were the one who wanted to do Chat Noir so bad.” Marinette groaned.

“Don’t remind me,” she complained. “But do we really have to watch _all_ of the clips on your LadyBlog that feature that absolute goofball?”

“It’s called research Marinette,” Alya said. “Now shush, there’s only one more.” Marinette gathered the courage to look at her computer screen.

 _“Are you_ feline _what I’m_ feline _M’Lady?”_ Video- Chat asked and leaned closer to Video- Ladybug. Video- Ladybug groaned audibly. _“I think love is in the air!”_

 _“We’re not a couple Chat!”_ she replied. _“Now enough with your ‘felines’ and ‘love’ in the air and help me with the Akuma!”_ Just then, whatever ridiculous monster of the week they were facing threw a car past them. It soured over the camera and landed loudly behind them. The shock must have made Alya drop her phone, because the gravel of the road came into view and the camera flashed different shades of grey as it tumbled to the ground. The video ended abruptly.

“Wow I learned so much,” Marinette said sarcastically. “So what do we know about Chat Noir so far? 1- He likes puns. 2- He’s really bad at puns. 3- He’s really really bad at puns.” Adrien let out a choked sound. Marinette smirked, but didn’t look at him.

Nino checked the clock on the computer. “Mari’s right,” he said. She grinned at Alya. “We didn’t accomplish a lot and I need to get home soon.”

“How about we just divvy the work and we can meet again tomorrow?” Marinette said. The others nodded and they divided the assignment equally between the four of them. It was still only 5 when they finished, but Marinette heard Nino say something about a family get-together at his house.

“Bye Marinette!” Alya called.

“Later Mari,” Nino said.

“See you Marinette,” Adrien said lastly, winking as he descended out of her room and dropped the trap door. She had a feeling she would indeed be seeing him.

* * *

Tap tap tap. Tap tap. Tap-tap tap tap tap. Tap-p-p-p-p.

“Ok, ok, I’m coming!” Marinette shouted. She scurried to her window. “Stupid impatient cat.” She lifted the latch.

“What took you so long princess?” Chat asked as he jumped into her room and released his transformation. She grumbled.

“I was having dinner,” she said. “Not everyone’s on a model diet like you, _Chaton_.”

“I still eat!” he said with a laugh. “Though I could always use more food, in case that ever crosses your mind…” Marinette scoffed.

“You are one hungry kitten,” she said, tapping his nose. “Do you want me to go down and get some pastries?” Adrien gasped, looking a little too excited for someone who just claimed he does get to eat.

“Really? Would y-”

“Marinette!” Sabine’s voice called. “There’s a _boy_ here to see you!” She said the word boy in a teasing sing-song voice, unaware that Marinette’s boyfriend (another thing she didn’t know about) was listening in. Adrien looked at Marinette in exasperation.

“A bo-”

“I’m sending him up!” The two exchanged wide-eyed looks. Without thinking or even a brief conversation to confirm he was ok with it, Marinette shoved Adrien into her closet and slammed the door behind him, just as a head popped up from the trap door of her floor. The boy lifted himself into her room with a sheepish look in his face.

“I’m sorry… I don’t mean to be _that_ guy that can’t take no for an answer,” Luka said, wincing at his own words. “Really, I’m just here to ask, well, er- why?” The question came out weak and uncertain. “Not that you have to give a reason, but, I mean- do you not like me? Did I misread?” Marinette breathed.

“No no, Luka!” She said quickly. “Of course I _like_ you! It’s just, well-” Her eyes darted to the closet. _That’s_ not exactly an answer. “It’s… hard to explain.” Luka furrowed his eyebrows. He walked towards her, but stopped, turned, and leaned against the wall… right by the closet. Marinette’s eyes went wide. Why did she put him in the closet!? Why didn’t she push out the window? He could have transformed and gotten out of there. Marinette sighed. “Luka, I- I love someone else.” Luka’s mouth fell into an ‘o’ shape. He sucked in and turned away.

“I understand Marinette,” he said, voice barely a whisper. When he looked back at her there was a smoldering look in his eyes. “I don’t know who it is that has your heart. But if it was me, I’d never let you go. I hope he sees how lucky he is.” Marinette blushed a deep red, eyes wide as saucers. Slowly her expression softened to a small smile of affection.

“I really do like you Luka,” Marinette said. “I just- I don’t-” She stopped and locked eyes with him. “You deserve someone who can really love you.”

“You’re an amazing girl Marinette,” Luka replied. “I should go- is this another way out?” He reached for the closet door. “The whole trapdoor thing is pretty-”

“WAIT!” Marinette shrieked. She dove forward to stop him but it was too late. Before she could even process what was happening, she saw Adrien arms flailing as he fell forward, having obviously been leaning in to hear through the door. He caught himself in the doorway and froze. Ever so slowly, he lifted his head to face Luka, who bore a shocked expression. Although Adrien’s mouth was spread in a cheeky grin, the rest of his face was twisted in surprise and embarrassment.

“I completely agree with you there,” Adrien said and pointed a desperate finger gun at Luka. Marinette shot him a glare of disapproval. _That absolute idiot!_ her mind hissed.

“I- I-” Marinette stuttered in horror. “ _I can explain._ ”

“I think I may already understand,” Luka said.

“You… do?” Marinette asked.

“Mari- There’s a _boy_ in your _closet_ ,” Luka said in a surprisingly calm deadpan voice.

“Ok you make it sound a lot worse than it is,” Adrien said, looking at Luka warily.

“Says the guy in the teenage girl’s closet,” Luka said. Adrien gaped at him.

“You say that like _I’m_ 30 or something!” Marinette sputtered, looking between the two boys.

“It wasn’t an attack,” Luka replied. “Although it seems Marinette’s parents may not know you’re here. At least I had to courtesy to use the front do-”

“Now wait a moment!” Adrien stood up straight and lowered his hands to his side. “I’m not the one who-”

“ _Adrien_ ,” Marinette snapped. Immediately he backed down, shuffling backwards slightly.

“You’re lucky Marinette terrifies me,” Adrien muttered. He crossed his arms and looked down. The three stood uncomfortably for a moment. Adrien lifted his eyes only for a brief second to see Marinette’s face. She seems to be caught up in her own thoughts. Finally, Marinette broke the silence.

“Luka,” she said deliberately. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“I respect your privacy,” Luka said. “But can I ask why you’re hiding… _this_?” There was silence again. This time, it was Adrien who answered.

“Our friends would freak out and we really don’t want to handle all that so soon,” he said. “For now we’d like to keep this to ourselves, until we’re ready.” It wasn’t the most horrible excuse Marinette had ever heard from the boy. She nodded along. Luka sighed.

“Ok.” Luka began to descend down through the trap door.

“Luka,” Marinette said. He looked up at her, waiting.  
“I meant what I said. I really hope you find who you deserve.” Adrien came up behind Marinette.

“You’re a good guy Luka,” Adrien said without reluctance. “Your taste in girls was just too good.” Adrien pursed his lips and crossed his arms with a little huff. Luka chuckled and ducked from view. The trap door slammed behind him.

“Well,” Adrien hummed. “Our secret lasted, what? 7 hours?” Marinette sighed.

“We have to be more careful,” she said. “A _lot_ more careful. Secret visiting all the time may not be such a great idea.” Adrien whined. He took her arm and pulled her against him so they were facing each other.

“But how can I not come see you when all day it was all I could do to not just grab you and hold you close like this?” he asked. Marinette hummed.

“You know something?” she asked.

“Hmm?”

“I really do like you too,” she said playfully.

“Really? As much as you like Luka?”

“Eh,” she said. “You’re up there.” Adrien gasped.

“And to think I thought I might be that someone else you’re in love with!” he said dramatically. She scoffed.

“You?” she asked as if the idea never even occurred to her. “I was talking about my other boyfriend, silly.” He huffed.

“See, you joke, but now I’m going to lay awake at night wondering if you have someone else that you jam into closets,” Adrien said.

“Who said I was joking?” She pulled away and gave him a serious look.

“Why you-” Adrien growled. Marinette giggled and ducked away as he reached to grab her. She dashed around the room, Adrien hot on her tail. Neither were quite prepared for the speed and agility of the other, nor their ability to gain momentum in such a small space. Still, they both found themselves releasing bouts of laughter in between their panting.

* * *

“And you’re sure you didn’t notice anything else odd about Adrien today?” Alya asked as she paced back and forth.

“ _No_ ,” Nino replied, having clearly answered this question more than once in the past hour, since she forced him to fake a family thing so they could leave and ‘talk.’ (Not even the good kind of ‘talk’ that would one would want to have their girlfriend either, no this was a ‘I talk you listen to me rant’ kind of ‘talk.’) “He’s been normal.”

“So it’s just around Marinette?” she asked.

“ _What’s_ just around Marinette??” Alya glared at him but refused to get into this argument again. She tapped her chin. _What could it be!?_ she asked herself for the millionth time. Alya was forced out of her thoughts by the sound of her ringtone. It was Marinette. She answered.

“Hey girl!” she said. There was no reply. “Girl?” She glanced at Nino. “She’s not responding, it must be a butt di-”

“-caught. How do you plan on explaining?” Alya gasped. She fumbled with her phone a bit after yanking it down so fast to turn on the speaker. Marinette’s groan sounded into her room.

“I don’t,” Marinette said. Nino looked at Alya in confusion and opened his mouth. She shushed him before he could get anything out. “I just plan on dying.” A laugh.

“I know, I know, but come _on_ ,” a voice replied. Nino went bug-eyed.

“That’s-”

“I know!” Alya said, looking pleased. “It’s _Adrien_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the patience of a 6 year-old so all my ideas for this story are probably going to continue happening one on top of the other. Oh well. At least it will be sufficiently chaotic.


	5. Suspicion

“What could she possibly do to you?” Adrien asked.

“She’s a superheroine,” Marinette deadpanned. There was silence from both ends of the phone. Nino and Alya shared a confused look. “OH MY GOSH I’M SUCH AN IDIOT!” Marinette shrieked. “Agh why do I have to mess everything up!?”

“It’s ok,” Adrien said. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Somehow I don’t think that’s possible,” Marinette replied with a dejected sigh. Adrien laughed. Marinette’s tone turned serious. “Well now that you know you have to keep this quiet.”

“Nah,” Adrien said. “I was just going to scream it to the whole world. Let you get murdered by a superhero.” Marinette groaned.

“How could I let all this happen?”

“Aw, is it _all_ really so bad?” Adrien asked.

“Of course I’m not talking about that,” she replied. Alya and Nino could hear the smile in her voice. “Oh I really want to tell her.”

“Then tell her,” Adrien said. There was a sound of arms flopping to their side. Marinette sighed.

“Not-” Ding. “Oh, that’s my phone.” At once Alya and Nino turned to each other wide-eyed. In a moment of pure panic, the couple jumped and Alya’s phone dropped to the floor. They scrambled to grab it at the same time, only managing to get in each other's ways, before Alya snatched it up and slammed the hang up button. They let out a collective sigh of relief. Nino turned to face Alya.

“What was _that_ all about?”

* * *

Though they were both still very confused, Alya was satisfied with the new evidence she gathered. Especially since it finally managed to convince her dimwitted boyfriend that there was something suspicious going on with their best friends. The next few days, they were both on hyper alert for anything that the two might be hiding- whether it was really there or not.

* * *

“I’m sorry I can’t, I have a photoshoot,” Adrien said. Nino narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to Adrien, as if daring him to say something out of line.

“A photoshoot, huh?” Nino asked suspiciously. “Are you sure about that?”

“...yyyyyeah?” Adrien said slowly, eyeing his friend in confusion.

* * *

“Why are you so tired today?” Alya asked. “Something you want to tell me?” Marinette whined a little as she looked up at the blogger who so rudely disrupted her sleep.

“You know I’m always tired Alya,” Marinette responded. “Too much homework. Too much designing. Too little sleep.” With that she dropped her head back onto her desk to catch what little rest she could.

“Hm,” Alya said sharply.

* * *

“Where are you going? Can I come with you?” Nino shouted after Adrien as he began to scurry away. Adrien turned around slowly.

“No Nino,” he said.

“Why not?” Nino asked, crossing his arms like a lecturing father. “Where are you going, Adrien? Where could you be hurrying off to that’s so secret your bro can’t come?

“ _The bathroom_.”

“... oh.”

* * *

“You only stuttered once,” Alya said. “That’s below average.”

“Uh… what?” Marinette asked.

“You only stuttered once,” she repeated. “Max says you stutter an average of 2.21 times per sentence when you talk to Adrien.”

“Um, ok?”

* * *

“Sup Mari,” Nino said casually as he came up behind said girl. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“Just some studying,” she replied with a smile. “I’m also thinking of finishing this one gorgeous midnight blue dress for-”

“How would you like to come to the movies with me?” he asked, trying his hand at a Chat Noir-esque grin. Marinette looked at him up and down, obviously put off by his odd behavior.

“Um, maybe, will Alya-” Nino snaked an arm around her shoulders.

“Nope just you and me.” Marinette’s jaw dropped in utter shock.

“I don’t under-”

“I figured since our first date didn’t exactly go as planned we could-”

“But Alya-”

“Doesn’t have to know.” Nino’s Chat-grin (which was not at all resembling a slick, flirtatious teenage heartthrob the way Chat’s did, instead coming off a whole lot more like a middle aged creeper who prays on young girls) widened. Marinette gasped loudly. “Unless there’s some other reason you can’t-”

“NINO!” she yelled, attracting the attention of the students around them. She unzipped her backpack, pulled out the first item she could grasp, (a notebook) and threw it at him hard.

“OW! Wha-”

“YOU.” She threw a bunch of pencils. “CAN.” She flung her binder. “NOT.” She smacked him with the entire backpack. “BE.” She shoved his arm. “SERIOUS!” The petite girl kicked him in his groin before stomping off in outrage.

Nino could only fall to the ground with a dejected “oww.”

* * *

“Alya this isn’t funny.” She only wheezed and laughed harder. “Alya seriously do you know how much pain I’m in right now?” This of course achieved in making her laugh even harder. “Alya… Alya… Alya this was your idea!” Alya cackled on for a minute more, much to Nino’s disdain. Finally, she wiped the tears from her eyes and sat up.

“Ok,” she said, snickering slightly. “I’m done.”

“I think my relationship with Marinette is ruined,” Nino said, pounding his head on his desk. “And it’s all your fault.”

“Uh, no,” Alya said. “My plan was flawless. The problem was your execution.” Nino lifted his head to glare at her before returning to his self-punishment. “And I’ll prove it to you. It’s my turn.” Nino bolted upright.

“Alya _no_.”

“Alya _yes_.”

* * *

“Hey handsome,” Alya purred. She slid onto Adrien’s desk and placed a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened, looking up at her ever so slowly. His face had turned a vibrant red. “How would you like to-”

“NOPE.” Adrien stood up suddenly, causing Alya to nearly fall over. Before she could even say ‘date’ he was out the door. Nino whistled, appearing from some unknown corner of the room.

“Flawless plan, Alya.”

* * *

“Ok, I think I know what the problem was,” Alya said. Nino gave her an exasperated look.

“Oh yeah?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah! They know we’re a couple, of course they’d never betray us that way!” she said. She jumped up from Nino’s bed as if she’d just had some amazing epiphany.

“Dude, I know,” Nino deadpanned.

“Shush Nino!” Alya said. “We can’t find out if there’s some other reason for turning us down if there’s the bigger issue of us being together. So, instead, we should ask for a threeso-”

“NO!”

“A four-?”

“ALYA!”

* * *

“AH HA!” two voices triumphed in unison.

“You thought you could hi-”

“Girl you have _so_ much exp-”

The pair stopped short as the couple in the closet turned to look at them angrily. The brunette boy had lipstick smeared all over his mouth and face. The girl’s orange hair was disheveled. Her white and blue sweater had been pulled down slightly so her shoulders were fully exposed. They glared at the two for interrupting them.

“You’re… not Marinette and Adrien,” Alya said weakly. They gave a look that screamed ‘ _no duh.'_

“Er- carry on,” Nino stuttered, quickly slamming the door closed.

“Wow,” Alya breathed, trying not to laugh. “Good for he-”

“Let’s not talk about this.”

* * *

“Babe, I don’t think this is working,” Nino said, leaning back on his bed. Alya scoffed.

“ _You_ would think so,” Alya said. “We have them right where we want them.” She rubbed her hands together evilly as if she were a villain from a cheesy old children’s cartoon. Nino ran a hand down his face. He gave Alya a pointed look.

“Are you _sure_?” he asked. 

“Of course!” she replied. “If we keep on pestering them, they’re bound to slip up sometime. It’s guar-an-teed.”

“I don’t know,” Nino said. “What if they realize we’re onto them?”

“Psh, those two?” Alya said with a laugh. “They’re as daft as a box of cereal. Trust me, they don’t suspect a thing.”

* * *

Adrien swirled around in Marinette’s chair. As he came to a stop, he tapped his chin in thought. “Do you think Alya and Nino-”

“Yep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie, I did laugh writing this chapter. Admittedly, it was better when the ideas were first in my mind. The translation to words may be a *tad* less humorous.


End file.
